Guest Post: Charity, Something to Fill Your Heart With by Aurora Onorato
The idea, when I started thinking about doing Blog Fest 2009, was simply to run back to back guest posts on a wide variety of subjects. Some of my guests have been more well known than others, but that doesn’t change the importance of their message!
I’ve known Aurora Onorato for a year, meeting at Photo Plus Expo when she was working in the NILMDTS (Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep) booth. At that time she’d only been in business for a little over 2 years. Right out of the blocks she was giving back and I really liked meeting a relatively new photographer involved in a charity, which my friend, Sandy Puc, helped to found.
It takes a special kind of person to be involved with NILMDTS, but as Aurora talks about at the end of the following post, how could you NOT be there to support this kind of need from a parent in pain.
I’ve talked a lot about the importance of being involved in your community. Scott Bourne, in his guest post last week, talked about your Artist’s Statement being from the heart. Jay Conrad Levinson, the father of Guerilla Marketing, talks about building your business in the community by giving back.
The bottom line is, Aurora walks the talk. She’s made a solid effort to be involved in a charity that is perfectly aligned with her heart and her skill set. She’s using photography to help make the world a little better place – so thank you Sandy Puc for helping to start NILMDTS, thank you Aurora Onorato for doing an incredibly poignant post and thank you to the 8,000 photographers in 25 countries who are now volunteers in Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep.
The quote on the NILMDTS home page says it all…
“You make a living by what you get. You make a life by what you give! ” Winston Churchill
I began my journey with Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep at the very same time I began my business, in October of 2006, but it wasn’t until July of 2007 that I got my first call to duty. I received an e-mail that made me stop in my tracks:
“Dear Aurora,
My name is Weihua, I am currently 34-weeks pregnant with a baby girl, whose name is Teodora. This is our first child after our 15 years of marriage, but unfortunately we found out in earlier March that our daughter has a genetic disorder called full Trisomy 18. I joined a wonderful online supporting group organized by the Trisomy 18 foundation, through which I knew about the NILMDTS, and saw many pictures those angel photographers took. I also found your name and your website. With much gratitude, I wonder if I can have your professional help to capture some important moments of Teodora and us together when she comes…”
I wrote her back immediately and told her I would be honored to share in her daughter’s brief life, and invited them to come to my home for a maternity session, as the greater part of their journey with Teodora was Weihua’s pregnancy. They took me up on my offer, and were so sweet and appreciative. Even in our first meeting I was amazed at their strength.
Some three weeks later, Dora decided to enter this world; she cried when she was born, and her parents got to hear their baby girl’s tiny voice. They got to give her a bath and dress her and hold her…parent her.
I arrived about 45 minutes after her birth and photographed the many friends who came to help them celebrate the life of their little Dora. Little more than two hours after she entered this world, the doctors came in to check on Dora. They let her parents know that she had in fact left us… I watched Dora’s father Youjun, a very stoic and quiet man, comfort his wife. And the very moment he began to lift his hand from her shoulder and take a step back, several of Weihua’s girlfriends swooped in and began to wipe her tears and hold her as finally mom let herself go and sobbed.
While I continued to photograph, I couldn’t help but be moved at this moment as I silently cried behind my camera. I continued to document the occasion watching Weihua stroke the side of her daughter’s face and as she gently lifted Dora’s eyelids to gaze just once into her daughter’s eyes. After some time, mom was ready and called me over to take Dora for her formal portraits. While I was photographing Dora, Weihua said, “I know this will sound somewhat strange, but I don’t think ever in my life I have ever felt so much love in a room before.” And she was right; the amount of love in compassion in that room that day was so incredible I can still feel it. After we finished and I packed up my gear, I asked if I could hold Dora again and say my goodbyes to her. As her mother handed her to me she told her this: “Dora, this is your Aunt Aurora; she’s an angel just like you,” and I told her I was honored to be thought of so.
Youjun helped me out with my things. He insisted on carrying something and waited with me for the valet to deliver my car. He then gave me the biggest hug in the world before putting me into my car to return home and thanking me several times.


I attended Dora’s services almost a month after she left us, which were kindly donated by the funeral home. There were easily over 100 people there to support Weihua and Youjun, and Weihua gave quite possibly the most beautiful and gracious eulogy. What a kind and gracious woman - she never ceases to move me when she speaks. They have also created a beautiful memorial page for their daughter.
Weihua, Youjun and I keep in touch, and I am happy to say that this June I was so honored to photograph Dora’s baby brother Daniel. Words cannot express how wonderful it was for me to get to share in more beautiful family moments with this incredible family.


Volunteering for the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep organization has given me some of the most moving and incredible moments of my life, as I get to share in the most intimate moments of these families and help them to remember their beautiful children.
I often give my time to help continue to recruit more fellow volunteers, and I think one of the most common questions I hear is “How do you do it?” And I tell people over and over again that, that isn’t the question, but rather “How could I not?” As a mother myself I can’t imagine not doing this for another family; it’s such a small thing for me to do it for them, and it means the world to them.







This post has 19 comments
October 29th, 2009
Wow Skip, You’re right that was a tough one. I cant remember the last time I cried reading something online, let alone actually making it to the end. Touching and amazing. That post is making me shut off the computer right now leave my office (after an all nighter) and go cuddle with my girls before they wake up. Thank you for sharing.
October 29th, 2009
Wow! That was the most moving blog post that I have ever read. What an amazing organization. This definitely touched me deeply, and I think I will start my morning off by reading more information on the NLMDTS organization. Everyone involved in this – Thank you! You make the world a better and sweeter place.
October 29th, 2009
I have heard (and I think rightly so) from several photographers lately who have donated their time and services to non-profits and other beneficial organizations like this. I just interviewed Tyler Stableford at LensFlare35.com and he said the same thing and gave some specifics about how to do that and what organizations he got involved in. One of the most gratifying things you can do as a photographer is decide to donate your time and energy to something like this – and this story is just more proof that that is true.
October 29th, 2009
This is a lovely story. As a NILMDTS photographer myself, I can attest to the power of these images for the families. If you think that you could do it, PLEASE try! It is heartbreaking to tell a family that no one is available. Really the sessions are not as tough as you think–parents are so strong! For me it is the post production that can get to you, hours spent looking at this family. But then the family calls and you remember who is really suffering and who you are working for…
October 29th, 2009
OMG Skip, I have never cried so much 1st thing in the morning then I did after reading this. They were tears of sadness and happiness. I went right to my boys and gave them hugs and thanked G-d for having healthy children. Though it has also made me want to be involved. I myself am just starting out in my own business and have been trying to find where I can give back. This might be it.
Thank you,
October 29th, 2009
Beautiful. Having lost two babies before their time (and now with a beautiful 5-year old) I know what a wonderful gift you gave to that family and continue to give. Thank you.
October 29th, 2009
Wow, as a photographer, a father of 2 angels and the friend of 2 families that will soon be without their angels, I simply cannot not express enough how powerful and wonderful this is.
Enough that I will not cheapen it with words here.
Bravo to you Aunt Aurora
Alex
October 29th, 2009
Yeah, a blubbering mess by the end of this story. I think it would be incredibly rewarding to be involved in this, but it would be so hard to keep it together.
October 29th, 2009
I cried so hard while reading this. There really are angels.
October 29th, 2009
Skip,
Seriously brought tears to my heart. NILMDTS is such a special gift to people in so much pain. I agree with Candice, I am going to go snuggle with my baby right now too.
Melinda
October 29th, 2009
Thanks for sharing Skip and sharing the different opportunities we have as photographers to give back. I am the local NILMDTS coordinator in my area and have done several sessions. Yes, they are tough but the greatest feeling as a photographer is when i place the DVD in the mail knowing that this is all they will have of their beautiful baby to remember them by.
October 29th, 2009
Dear Aurora,
Thank you so very much for the beautiful blog. My tears are pouring reading it and relive the most precious moments in our lives! I also want to take a moment to thank all the photographers from the NILMDTS who volunteer their time to help families like ours walking through the darkest moments of their lives.
I also want to let you know how much we cherish the pictures you took. I carry Dora’s picture in my wallet everyday. It reminds me not only her beautiful face, but all the wonderful people she brought to us, including her aunt Aurora. I know my little girl is just as happy as we are now to see her little brother grow everyday, and to see more people like you bringing light to other people’s lives.
Love and kisses to your little princesses!
Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Weihua
October 29th, 2009
Weihua,
You are with me every day, it is my greatest honor to share in your lives, you are truly amazing people. Kisses and hugs back from my ladies;) and you are welcome…thank you for sharing Dora with everyone.
~A
October 29th, 2009
Thanks for all the kind words, it is the most incredibly rewarding work, it’s not as hard as you imagine it will be. I think the hardest part is working up to leaving for your first session not knowing what to expect from yourself. Before I started I thought I would need to have a good cry after leaving the hospital, however I can tell you now as a veteran, that I get in my car to go home with a real sense of peace, knowing that an hour or two of my time has given these families a lifetime of memories. I think we all got into the Photography business for one reason or another, for me it was to help people to remember the love they have for one another and themselves, and it just doesn’t get much more sacred than these moments. I think it keeps my finger constantly on the pulse of why I do what I do, for my family and for yours. The quote Skip shared above couldn’t be more true, my life and my heart are fuller for having given what I can to these families it always fills my heart to know I’ve been able to help them even in some small way! (if you think you might like to do this and are on the fence feel free to call me or e-mail me I would be happy to talk to you about how this organization can change your life!
October 30th, 2009
I am immediately reminded of W Eugene Smith’s photos of the mother and child in the Minimata disaster in Japan.
Your last photo – of the parents looking at the child – is a eulogy. It’s beautiful. I am sure they will recognize that moment again and again in their lives.
April 4th, 2010
Aurora, thank you for sharing this amazing story on Skip’s blog. This morning is Easter morning and as I get ready to attend services on this special day, I cannot help to think, that I have too been touched by an angel….YOU are an angel….
Your coming into Teodora’s life and the rest of her family and friends, was no coincidence.
I thank God every day for people like you, and thank you for touching the lives of this family. Thank you for touching me so deeply this morning!
God bless you; Happy Easter and Passover
November 2nd, 2009
Aurora & Skip,
Beautiful story…I cry for any loss of a wee baby that is expected. Yes, it is a hard road to travel to capture those last moments in a life. Aurora’s compassionate nature clearly showed in her words and deeds. Thanks for sharing!
Blessings,
Elena
November 24th, 2009
I am soon to begin working with NILMDTS. I loved reading this post. Thanks so much.
April 4th, 2010
This was amazing to read on Easter morning. Thank you Skip, I am a mess in tears, but forever grateful to Aurora, who in my eyes is an angel too……. WOW!
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