• I was on the phone one morning talking with the Queen of Lighting, Bobbi Lane. About three minutes into the call we got disconnected. It was instinct, since I originated the call, to just call her back. Nothing rude, no “Can you hear me now?” I just started talking where I left off.  It happens to all of us all the time – what do we call it?
• The other day I called our health insurance company and got frustrated with the robot giving  me default prompts. I know it was irrational, but I dropped the *F bomb on the robot. I wasn’t swearing at a live body, just screaming out of the frustration of asking for customer service and not being able to get there.  Any thoughts on what to call it?
• Tuesday morning I was in the concierge lounge at the Marriott getting my free continental breakfast. I was all excited about making a bagel and egg sandwich with a little slice of bacon and tabasco. I toasted my bagel put it all together and took the first bite. It was horrible – I didn’t have my glasses on and didn’t realize it was a fruit flavored bagel. The whole concoction was simply wrong.   This isn’t the first time I got the wrong thing because my glasses were in my pocket! Years ago I bought a Bonnie Raitt CD in a music store in NYC. On the way home I put it on in the car and was shocked at heavy metal and just not my style of music. I couldn’t believe Bonie Raitt would release an album like this. Here it is again – I didn’t have my reading glasses on and bought Ratt – The Detonator Album! So, there are two words here – one is for morons who don’t wear their glasses when they need to, the other for simply making stupid mistakes!

I know there’s a difference, but it sure looked like Raitt at the time! LOL

• I was writing an email last night and thought I had sent it, but the hotel system sent it into the black hole and I had to completely rewrite it.  It just seems to have deleted on its own and disappeared into cyberspace. We’ve all had to rewrite things because they weren’t saved and wound up lost with Tron and the gang! We all do it, but what do we call it.
• Monday, at IUSA a woman came up to me and just started talking. I didn’t know who she was. I didn’t even recognize her name badge. I smiled, talked a little and then a little insulted, she said, “You don’t remember me do you?”  I realized later she was the marketing manager for a company I once called on, but that was three years ago. She walked away insulted and I felt badly for not being better at hiding the completely blank look on my face when it came to recognizing her. Once again, what should we call those awkward moments when you don’t hide them well?

New words show up on our doorstep every day. In fact, think about it for a minute. It’s only been a few years since we started “chimping”, “googling”, “posting”, “tweeting” and “blogging”. They’re all new words we use every day! So, each one of these situations needs a word for Skip & Webster’s New Contemporary Dictionary.

If you can’t come up with a word or two that’s fine, just don’t tell me I’m alone in having these things happen.

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house

I’d unplugged my computer and even the mouse.

My blogs for year-end were all ready to go

There was no reason to work, the Internet was slow.

For reasons unknown as if it made sense

my email needed cleaning and I got “off the fence.”

For over a year I’d saved every note

the ones I received and the ones that I wrote.

So I started deleting each email and letter.

The more I deleted the more I felt better.

2009 Email from Gordon, Blackmore and Bourne

Taufer, Kubota, Schrader and Dorne.

And then went the drafts I’d written, but never sent

from those days when writing just helped me vent.

When all of a sudden I jumped up like LeBron,

My joke files from Vedros and Steinhardt were gone.

Gone were the best jokes from GP to X rated,

the ones that I loved and the ones that I hated.

My email had been full with great moments and smiles,

but my computer was slowing down with the over-stuffed files.

I wiped off my tears and even my nose

The  files, like Saint Nick, up the chimney they rose.

My collection of jokes was gone and deleted.

I felt so alone, so sad and defeated.

When all of a sudden I jumped up with a grin

My backup drive  was never plugged in.

I’d only deleted the stuff on one drive!

My tasteless jokes, every one did survive!

And I heard a voice,  I thought from the sky

Was it Santa, his reindeer who had just flown by?

I realized the words were from my wonderful wife,

“Shut off the computer you dork- get a life.

It’s Christmas and you’re screaming gave me a fright!

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night”

And whoever can give me the best translation of what he/she is trying to say, I’ll buy you a margarita at WPPI or IUSA!

I must indicate through simply designed for bailing everyone created by challenge. Soon after verifying all over the world diverse web-based to see viewpoints which aren’t productive, I assumed my entire life has been approximately. Living without the methods to the difficulties you will have sorted out because of your write-up can be described as considerable claim, and in addition models which might own eagerly impacted my personal full work merely we had not realized your web page place. Your current all natural expertise and then goodness around touching all of it ended up being great. I don’t know issues i would’ve succesfully done should i hadn’t happen when such a that. I can at this point be exposed to your long term future. Great moment a huge amount of for those exceptional along with consequence focused benefit. I can’t be reluctant to refer the sites to your man or woman who preferences course relating to this problem.

So to “Authentic Ravens Jerseys”, the author of this monstrosity:  Sorry ace, but I’m not about to publish your email address or open any of the attachments. However, I do want to thank you for the entertainment value and hope some time down the line you’re able to figure out what it is you were trying to say!

We’re living in the age of instant gratification. We text, we tweet, we abbreviate. Our spelling has become absurd, phonetically attacking a conversation for the sole purpose of packing a full paragraph into just 140 characters. Photographers have become “togs” & sum things R gr8 2 reed others rn’t.

We eat on the run, multi-tasking and getting a little work done so we can justify stepping away from the biz at lunch time. MacDonalds has two lines for the drive-in window and we can order combo meals, making the decision-making process even faster when it comes to the barrage of possibilities for our low nutrition intake of garbage.

New photographers, sorry “togs” jump into the market thinking because they understand Photoshop they’re perfectly capable of being a professional photographer. They shoot with wild abandon with a mindset, “No problem. I’ll fix it later in Photoshop!” The truth is, no matter what your skill set, if it’s a lousy image there’s one fundamental rule of nature, “You can’t buff a turd!”

The reality is that you can’t Tweet quality. There are no shortcuts to creating outstanding images. There are no shortcuts to building a relationship with your clients. There are no shortcuts to great marketing. All of this leaves me with one sentiment – it’s time for many of you to just slow down!

If you’re one of those shortcut, overnight, buy a camera and just add Photoshop photographers, here’s where you’re missing some incredible opportunities:

• You’re doing yourself a huge disservice and leaving a lot of great revenue on the table. A great series of images shown to an excited client has the potential to create not only more sales from the original job, but additional sales as your client shows your work to their friends.
• You’re doing your client a disservice, but not “being all you can be”. Yeah, it’s the US Army’s slogan, but it’s so dead-on, for every profession. You can’t compromise on being the best at what you do. When you present images that exceed a client’s expectations the excitement and goodwill you’ll be a part of will take your pride and theirs to a completely new level.
• You’re slowly undermining the credibility of an entire industry. The other night on the local news was a consumer protection story where a woman wrote to the TV station for help getting her wedding images. Look, mistakes happen and there are always extenuating circumstances, but when what should be a quietly resolved customer service issue gets so out of control the local news media gets involved, the business entity just didn’t do their job!  Think about the number of people who watched the story and got a bad impression about professional photographers. Even worse, think about the credibility boost the story just gave to all the Uncle Harrys and all that gear they just bought!
• You’re making it harder to build your business than it has to be. Anybody can get their first customer. The trick is to get the second, third and fourth customers along with getting that first customer to come back. Being a successful photographer is about building trust with your clients.  When that trust is violated the entire model collapses. On the other hand, when you exceed a client’s expectations you’ve got a customer for life, not to mention one more member of your word-of-mouth publicity machine.

Okay, so let’s end this little rant this morning with a few suggestions. Slow it down and pay attention to the quality of your images and the quality of your relationships. Build your business one client at a time and treat every client as if they were the only person who was ever going to pay you for your skill set as a photographer.

Focus on being the very best photographer with a mindset that Rangefinder Magazine wants to do a story about you, but you told them to wait until you had the images you wanted!   And as always, NEVER compromise!

You’re part of an amazing industry and there’s help every step of the way, providing you respect and love the craft.  And trust me, if you respect the craft, there is no way to describe the return on your investment!

This is about having fun – one of those special words I ended yesterday’s post with. Even better is knowing Kevin! And if you don’t know him, then make it a point to catch him at the next convention or workshop!  Jeff and Ross are going to be on the road as well with Get In Motion, a necessity to being a great storyteller. Use “SSS2011″ in the special promo box and there’s even a discount.

Completely unrelated to Photoshop, but definitely focused on fun – if you’re on Twitter, make sure you follow @kubotatools and @skipcohen. Next Wednesday we’re going to pull three followers at random for copies of Kevin’s new book, The Lighting Notebook and GoingPro, one of my most fun projects written together with good buddy, Scott Bourne. Both books are just starting to be available. Here’s your chance to get one of the very first copies, but you have to be following both.

Our industry is made up of some pretty remarkable people with incredible skill sets and great senses of humor! Are you one of them?

1. Give your clients lots to read! Your most valuable piece of real estate is your website, but what I don’t understand is why so many photographers junk it up with paragraph after paragraph that just don’t say anything! If a picture is worth a thousand words, then keep the copy on your site to the bare minimum. Every outstanding image demonstrates why you’re a professional. You don’t need to add a lot of words if your images speak for themselves.
2. Never bother to check your website. I wrote about this one earlier in the week, but there are still those of you who are convinced nothing can go wrong – after all, it was working okay yesterday! Ever had an unexpected problem with your car? Maybe it was a dead battery or a flat tire or just maybe somebody hit you in a parking lot! Your website is no different! When the gremlins get involved and your site locks up or is just too slow to load, it can cost you serious business.
3. “I’m too good to have a network”. Yeah, I know, you’re so good you don’t want anybody to know what you’re working on. Plus, you’re so smart and you absorb new technology so fast, you don’t need new ideas or help from other photographers. Seriously, a great network takes time to build, but every new photographer or vendor you meet at a local guild meeting, state/national convention or workshop helps you expand your expertise. Your network can help you through the toughest challenges in half the time and time is your most valuable commodity.
4. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it! No, it should be if it ain’t broke, you haven’t looked hard enough! Need I say more?
5. And the last one on the hit parade: criticize everybody else! Negative sell because your potential client really wants to know what’s wrong with your competitors! Negative selling just doesn’t cut it. Ever had a contractor like a plumber or an electrician do some work on your house? They’ll always tell you the last guy did it all wrong! Don’t get caught up in negative comments. Instead talk about your own work, but spend time listening to your clients first. They need to know you understand what they want. You want to develop that special level of trust that will allow you to step into their lives and capture the moments most important to them. You won’t get there if you sound like a cheap salesman who only wants to close the sale.

Thomas Edison is quoted as saying, “Hell, there are no rules here – we’re trying to accomplish something.”

Don’t be afraid to throw out the “rule book” and show your creativity, in your marketing, your images and in building your relationships. You don’t need to give up business to your competitors if you stay focused on integrity, customer service and quality in your images!

1. Make people mine for data on your website.  This is so easy to avoid, but evidently a lot of photographers think their client base is still playing Dungeons and Dragons. They bury their most important information under a sea of testimonials, accolades and miscellaneous pages. People eventually just get tired of searching and eventually go elsewhere.
2. Don’t give people a phone number to contact you. It’s the let’s-make-people-contact-me-my-way scheme. Seriously, don’t you feel great when you contact a company and can actually talk to a live body? Your website and your business is no different. And the same goes for business cards that send people to your website instead of your phone. If they’re serious they want to talk to you, not write an email. I understand if you’re working out of your home and don’t want to give people an address, but give them a phone number! There’s no such thing as giving your audience too much contact information.
3. Put up images that look just like Uncle Harry’s! Here’s one that’s so easy to fix, but there are some photographers who think Uncle Harry is the competition.  Up go images in the galleries that are as good as Uncle Harry’s!  WRONG – they need to be better than Uncle Harry’s and really demonstrate why you’re a professional photographer! Look at your website as if you were the client. Based on the quality of your images, would you hire you?
4. Not returning phone calls and emails makes you look really busy and in high demand!  Who started this one? Seriously, there are people on this planet who think that building your business is all about looking busier than you really are and one ingredient is to play hard-to-get!  That might have worked to get a date in high school, but success in business today is about a fast response.  It’s about great customer service and it all starts with your client’s perception you really care about their business. A quick response shows you care and they’re important.
5. Confuse your audience! This one is all about showing every image you’ve ever captured. Hey, who knows, that potential bride might just have an auto parts business on the side and be really interested in your table-top product work, especially the series you did on spark plugs, tools and 10W40! Keep your specialties separate and don’t give people too much to look at that isn’t relevant. For example, wedding and family portraiture go well together, but throw in your images of the Grand Canyon and you’ll lose them every time.

I cannot tell a lie, sarcasm is definitely one of my strong suits and tomorrow I’ve got five more ways you can help your competitors! And, let’s not forget the bright side of this – giving up business means you’ll have more time to just sit back and relax. After all, you had enough business already anyway, right?

Business is tough enough in a great economy let alone the challenges everyone faces today. Putting all the sarcasm aside, it just takes time, patience and lots of work. There are no shortcuts! Work is labor-intensive – that’s why it’s called work! But knowing there’s a quote for everything, I went searching…

“If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.”  

Happy Wednesday! See you tomorrow for five more mistakes you want to avoid!

I’ll let you know who they all are next week, but here’s a hint - only four of them missed WPPI a few months back!

Then, there’s the Nigerian Treasury scam. Before the Internet, we’d get the letters written long hand. The theme was always the same: Millions of dollars are sitting in a Nigerian bank as a result of the death of a major political/financial personality dying before the projects the money was slated for could be started. Now there’s a need for a partner to help get the money out of Nigeria. In exchange, if you’re willing to help and give them your bank information for the transfer you get a huge percentage, always in the millions.

So, as photographers how can you turn these scams into lessons of creativity for your own marketing programs?

• Don’t do the same programs over and over again! In the help-I’ve-been-mugged-in-London scam it’s the same scenario. Let’s mix it up a little and go for a mugging, an illness, food poisoning, even my dog ate my term paper would get more readers.
• Mix up the times and places for your promotions!  Why London all the time? Don’t tourists in Paris and Madrid deserve the opportunity?  And what about Europeans visiting the US? Is there a counterpart scam for somebody who just lost their wallet in Lansing, Michigan?
• Vary the value of your promotions? Most of the time there’s never a value on the mugging scam. Only one out of five asked for cash and gave me a way to respond.
• Mix up your offers! Why is it always a hotel manager who won’t let them leave the UK? It would have gotten my attention a lot more if at least once the message had been – “We need your help! We just had an incredible dinner at a great restaurant in London and they’re out of bread pudding! Please help me and go on line and find me a restaurant within a block that has a great English dessert!

It all boils down to your creativity and a great line, “If you do what you’ve always done you won’t get anymore than you always got!” So, put a little creativity into your promotions. Our scammers are lazy. Whatever happened to creativity in the crime world? And they can’t spell! In at least two of the letters I got, I know for a fact the photographers at least finished the fourth grade and know how to spell. It’s a ded giveaway wen sumbody can’t right out wat it iz they want frum yoo.

Okay, Happy Sunday morning everybody. I don’t do a lot of Sunday Morning Reflections anymore, but it’s fun to be back!

Commented Frank Stop, director of the department, “I know of no other field where those people involved just seem licensed to print money! People are willing to pay anything for their portraits. Most photographers right now are turning away business. They’re that busy!”

Other highlights around the industry:

• In an effort to better support the professional photographic community, the major camera manufacturers recently announced their high-end pro digital SLR’s will no longer be sold to anyone named Uncle Harry or Uncle Bob. Retailers will require all purchasers of these products to submit a urine specimen for analysis of their photographic skill level prior to purchase.
• The Supreme Court upheld all rulings in favor of photographers owning the rights to all their images and implemented a national ban on photographers giving away their work on disks unless adequately compensated for their work.
• The International Federation of Photo Albums announced black and burgundy as the two strongest colors of albums stating, “People just want their pictures in a black book. They don’t care about their album having a unique look.”
• The American Institute of Brides, the Bridezilla Division, announced their members will discontinue whining and complaining  and pay whatever is considered a fair price for full event coverage.
• Notsu Moronic, inventor of spell check, announced the recall of all spell check software stating, “Thnx 2 Twitter, togs can now publish anything w/out using R software! Accur8 spelling no longer matters.”
• In local news, Ohio photographer, Mattlock Price, who had earlier in the year written a letter blaming the decline in affiliate membership on Skip Cohen’s Akron Photo Series, commented,  “Wow, I guess it’s time we recognized these educational programs are helping photographers build their business and Children’s Hospital as well. Sure wish I had gone to Jasmine Star’s program!”

Along with the announcement putting photography at the very top of the most lucrative businesses in the U.S., the World Troll Council announced membership has dropped so low, they can no longer afford their headquarters within inner earth. Y. Gollum, spokesman for the Council, said in a press conference earlier today, “We apologize for those misguided members who tend to criticize without the facts. They’ve all dropped out of the various forums. All our members have agreed to step out from behind the anonymity of their computer screens and come out in the sunlight! Most of them are moving to the Orlando area, seeking a happier life and looking to be closer to Mickey, Minnie, Donald and Pluto, all while singing Put On a Happy Face.”

Really?

What can I say? It’s April Fools and I just couldn’t help myself this morning. Sadly, somewhere on the planet there’s just a little bit of truth in what prompted me to pick a few of the points.  The good news is, I watched 132 people the other night listen to Jasmine Star’s program. We all, included me, picked up some great ideas on how to keep it real and be unique.

Jerry Ghionis and Sandy Puc are on the road in Columbus today with their tour.  David Ziser always has great help on his site. Photoshop World Orlando is going on with great programming. Doug Gordon just announced his annual three day workshop. Eddie Tapp and Judy Host are coming to Akron in two weeks. Creative Live  offers photographers unique workshops, free when they first air and at reasonable prices if you want the download.   

CLIQ is putting together one of the largest education platforms in PMA history in September. Scott Bourne constantly has great information on Photofocus.com and our joint site, GoingPro2011.com is loaded with great marketing and business content and 35 different podcasts, all free. Skip’s Summer School is coming up with what some people are saying is the best faculty ever.  And Joe Farace is out there saving the world, one pixel at a time!

The list goes on and on, loaded with people and companies in our industry offering to help you find the solutions to the challenges, but you’ve got to be the one to take advantage of all the opportunities. The truth is, a few of my points in the post this morning could really be true if everybody in our industry did get more proactive on dealing with the challenges. 

Happy April 1st everybody and in the words of my favorite character from the old NYPD Blue show - “Let’s be careful out there!