In all honesty, it’s not hard to argue that all of us need support from our family and friends in whatever dreams we’re chasing, but there are some characteristics that I think make photography unique. 

First, it’s an art form.  You need solid reactions from those people closest to you in order to help build your confidence and skill set.  Second, you’re taking your “product” to market and you need not only feedback, but support in developing your presentation and your style.  Third, you need an HONEST response when something is bad or when you’ve written content for your website, for example, that just doesn’t sound right.  Your family and friends are your first and often most significant sounding board.

There is no way to emphasize the importance of having somebody in your life who believes in you.  A year ago today I was writing my resignation from Rangefinder Publishing and WPPI.   My reasons for leaving aren’t significant for the point I want to make here.  Most of my family were confused, concerned and anything but supportive.  And if they said they were supportive, the tone in their voice or the look in their eyes said otherwise.   Fortunately, I did have a very special lady in my life and a few friends who not only believed in what I was about to do, but made suggestions on new directions for me to consider.  And, unlike Scott, my Dad never wavered in believing in me.

But here’s what I learned about the challenges with family – and if it helps just one of you out there, then it’s worth sharing.  A lot of the lack of support came from lousy communication on all sides.  I made assumptions they all knew my skill set.  They made assumptions that my plan was half-baked:  I mean who leaves a great salary and starts a new business in one of the worst economies in history?

So, here’s  a check off list to work with when you’ve got family who isn’t supporting you.  Before you cut them loose, consider the following:

1) Why?  Get everyone together to talk about why you’re about to go in a new direction.  Give them all the information on what’s brought you to this point in your life.  Don’t sugar coat why you’re making the change.

2) What?  Share every aspect of your dream.  They can’t be supportive if they don’t understand exactly what it is you want to do.

3) How?  Before you sit down with your family or friends, think about a 2-3 year plan.  Then share the details with them in terms of how you intend to achieve your goals and your dream.

4) When?  Here’s where I missed the boat completely.  I sprung it on them with virtually no warning.  They were aware of many of my reasons for wanting to make a change, but it had only been in superficial conversations.  I litterally called and with all the finesse of a Simpson’s episode with Marge jumping out of Homer’s birthday cake yelling, “Surprise” I dropped the bomb.

Last but not least and this is a lesson I’m still trying to master and it really takes work.  Never use email to communicate anything to anybody who you love, except that you love them.  Email is the worst method of communication for virtually anything emotional.  It’s great for business, it’s great for contracts, it can even be good for a simple touching base, but that’s it.  Email can never replace the sound in your voice, eye contact and the emotions that make us better than our computers!

It was the headline of a story by David Dudley in the AARP Magazine this month and yes, I admit to reading AARP and damn proud of being old enough to have earned the subscription!   But the best part of the story is that for once I feel I’m actually ahead of the curve.

One of my new year’s resolutions was to talk more and email less.  Just this afternoon I caught up to a new friend, Joey Carman, and had a conversation about WPPI.  Every day I talk to my co-author and good buddy, Scott Bourne.  Jim Davis Hicks, founder of Thirst Relief is coming over to the house for lunch in the next week or so and I know, like last time he was here, we’ll spend the day coming up with new ways to create more awareness for the challenge of more fresh water around the world.

The issue is let’s find a way to talk more and email less!   We don’t talk to each other enough, but instead we Tweet and email.  There’s nothing wrong with that, but we all need to do a better job of doing both!  It’s especially important since we’re all part of an industry that thrives on human contact – we’re in the business of capturing those special moments – moments of people interacting, not communicating through their computer!

So, here’s the challenge – see if you can match one phone call to anybody you know for every email you send and texting doesn’t count.  This is about using your voice and really talking to friends, no matter where they are.   If we don’t talk more we’re all going to lose our ability to communicate.   I’ve already noticed that I’m spelling things phonetically as I struggle to capture a thought in just 140 characters.   While it might B gr8 2 B able 2 do, we’re even frgetting how 2 writ!   Photographers became photogs and then just togs…grammar is out the window, words like “at” has been replaced with @, two, to and too is just 2 and the list goes on & on & on!

David Dudley said it best in his close: 

“We’re in danger of becoming a nation of hyperconnected hermits, thumbs furiously working our BlackBerrys!”

PS. After posting this a few minutes ago, I can’t stop laughing over the link for Scott Bourne.  You’ll go directly to his lead story at www.photofocus.com on using Twitter for business.   So, let’s clarify my point…it’s a balancing act.  Social Media is as necessary to building your business as a website is today or a yellow pages ad was twenty years ago.  But, it’s a balancing act with personal contact and you’ve got to have both.  Keep the connections “live” with close friends and good customers and let’s not let having a live conversation with somebody become an obscure art form!